I Didn’t Feel Good Enough, But I Was Good Enough for God

In his moment of greatest anguish, Drew felt heaven’s peace. He learned that God knew him.
Drew was raised in a typical member home where he was taught to obey and serve. Despite separation anxiety as a child, he was strong and felt capable of serving a mission. But several weeks into his mission in the Baltic States he felt the terrible anxiety of perfectionism.“I felt that if I wasn’t doing something every second to serve the Lord—pushing myself to the breaking point—then I wasn’t deserving of His blessings,” he said.

When Drew returned home for professional help, he was diligent in scripture study and temple service. Still, he felt many low points of inadequacy. He was pricked with the nagging feeling that “no one understands. No one ever will.”

It came to the point where he decided he could no longer live this way. If happiness couldn’t be found here, maybe he could find it elsewhere. “At my lowest point,” he recounted, “I prayed to ask God how He felt about me. Am I doing the right thing?” he asked.

In response, he felt a comforting impression: “You are going to be okay. I have a plan for you. It will work out.” That feeling offered clarity and peace, he said.“I was looking in all the wrong places for appreciation and fulfillment when I should have been looking to Him,” Drew said. “No one understands you or wants your success as He does. I felt His grace through peace,” he said. “I’ve now switched my focus from perfectionism to steady progress and growth.”

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