Who’s the Main Character of the Bible?

Who’s the main character of the Bible? How we answer this question shapes the way we read the whole thing and how we practice (or criticize) Christianity.
When I had a giant faith crisis a while back I realized that a lazy answer to this question was at the heart of a lot of my weird bad ideas. Reconsidering my lazy answer cast a lot of things that I didn’t feel very good about in a very different light.

Also there’s a picture of Vanilla Ice in this one.